Remembering My Magic

Journal Entry

Written May 4, 2011

Nygård, Sweden

It is amazing to me the things I have accomplished. Deep down, I have this sense of knowing that I have done many incredible things, but it isn’t until I look at photos, or speak with my mentors and friends that the memories and sense of accomplishment come to the surface.

I have jumped out of planes, traveled half a world away on a whim, tattooed half my body, met, worked for, and became friends with my favorite author and mentor, Sark. I have learned to dance with, eat, and breathe fire. I have jumped into social situations, knowing that I may not be accepted, hoping that I would find my peers among them. I have overcome many emotional obstacles, and have become an incredibly strong and resilient person. When ever I have put my mind to it, I have overcome any obstacle in front of me. Anything I have decided to do, and put my heart to, I have accomplished.

What a great feeling this holds when I remember. That “Dad voice” in the back of my mind seems to stubbornly shut up and sulks back to his corner, muttering under his breath. He knows there is nothing he can say to change my mind, once I remember that I have beat him before, and that I can, and will do again.

Looking at photos, I see myself participating in amazing life altering experiences that many would be afraid to try or even think about trying. I have the ability to push past my fear, and I am aware of it. It is because of this that I am able to do such amazing things. I find that often times, I have to push past the fear just to prove to myself that there is nothing to be afraid of. It is like my higher self is the parent comforting my inner child. Higher self forces my shaking inner child to look under the bed to see that there are no monsters waiting to harm it. I tuck that part in bed with a night light on every time something fearful comes up, and then I go to investigate it, to assure her there is nothing to be afraid of. That child is growing fearless- and soon there is nothing that will keep me from lunging forward at any opportunity I have to do something exciting and equally scary.

I have officially started work on my travel show project. While researching on Kickstarter, I came across a similar project to mine. The girl has far more experience than me, both in film & TV, and in travel. She is asking for only half of what I am estimating I will need, and it is not looking like she will be making her goal (although I do hope that she will!) At first, I became a bit worried, thinking “If she doesn’t make it, how on earth will I!?” Then, as if my higher self stepped in, I began to assure myself that I have everything I could ever need to make this possible. I have MANY people who want to see me succeed, and many of my supporters are successful people who will be able and willing to help me fund my project. And besides: people LOVE to give me money :-D Not to mention that the premise to my travel show is incredibly unique and will be insanely fun to watch AND produce!

There will be kinks- but I will work them out. There will be unexpected occurrences while on the road- but I will turn them into tiny adventures, and find the magic in each one. I will have my less than stellar days, but I will never let them bring me down. I will keep working hard and diligently to achieve my goal of having my own travel show. I KNOW I can do this.