Noting the Distractions

Journal Entry

May 9, 2011

Nygård, Sweden

Observation: My creativity, motivation, and inspiration wane when I go on the internet.

I spent my entire morning filled with inspiration. I read a few sections of the book This Time I Dance by Tama Kieves before I went to bed. I dreamt that I was full of inspiration and the motivation I gained from it catapulted me into a future of dreams come true and exciting adventures. I awoke to sunshine, birds chirping and the incredible, rich smell of spring time. Before I even got out of bed, I picked the book back up and continued to read, ingesting each tiny morsel to satiate my desire for positive reinforcement and the knowledge that someone had taken the same leap as I am, and that they succeeded. I am so worried about not succeeding that I have forgotten to enjoy the process of creating, and I think that this is where many people lose themselves and their ability to move forward with their dreams. I know that I am not going to quit on my dream, because that is all I have energy for. I do not have the drive to do things that do not serve my creative and adventurous side, at least not for very long. I think this is the reason I have come to “earn” the role of “quitter” in my dad’s eyes. It’s not that I do not finish the things that I love, it’s that I do not stick with the things I hate. When I am unhappy with something, or bored, or have figured out that it does not serve me in some way, I drop it like the bad habit that most people keep.

Back to my original observation: Every single time I pick up my computer, my instinct and my desire is to check my Facebook, my email, and any other pointless link I can come across. Stumbleupon has become less of an inspiration, and more of a channel surfing-type waste of time. I use it more as a distraction in the name of inspiration, than an actual tool to find inspiration. Often times, I will come across something that could help me in achieving my goals, or give me inspiration or a prompt, but then I just use that inspiration to find more inspiration and it becomes a spiral into a motivational-less void where absolutely nothing gets done.

What I need to start doing is setting an hour where I check my email, Facebook, and maybe even give myself three stumbles a day, Monday through Friday. Weekends need to be free of this large waste of time, and weekdays need to be regulated. After living in Hawaii, where I generally kept busy, I never really used these avenues of distraction all that much. (even in the middle of typing this, I felt, and followed, a great urge to check my facebook.)