Mission Accomplished!

Well, sort of! Let's just say that I have accomplished "starting." That is always the hardest thing for me to do- to begin a project. I am sure many people can relate: You have an idea, something that really gets your creative juices flowing- you might write it down, or save it for "later", but that "later" never actually arrives. Speaking as a perfectionist, it is always incredibly difficult to begin because I know whatever I do, my first attempts will not be up to my personal standard of quality. Therefore, if I cannot do it right the first time, I don't usually do it at all.

As I get older, however, I realize this is not a productive outlook, and I will live an awfully boring and disappointing life if I do not at least start somewhere. I have decided to look at my situation logically: there are very few prodigies in this world, and I am certainly not one of them. Like every other artist, musician, or entrepreneur before me, I will have to work hard and practice at what I do. I will have to put many hours into my craft, and learn many lessons before I can obtain the confidence and grounding I need to establish integrity in my work. While I honestly feel a bit intimated by this, I also feel elated- I am doing it! I am already accomplishing something, and while my first attempt might not be everything I hoped, it is a beginning, and it is a wonderful beginning.

I have been all over the board for the last few weeks. I was excited in the beginning, and I felt as if nothing would stop me. I had this sense that the excitement and momentum I felt would propel me straight through to stardom, with little to no effort. Reality began to sink in after when I began to cut my first Dream Leaper interview- an off the cuff, impromptu interview with my friend Magpie. I realized that I had not done the kind of preparation I should have going into the interview. I did not consider the questions I would ask her- and found that the piece was not as cohesive as I would have liked. I also did not consider a venue for the interview, and was unaware of my microphones ability to pick up every little sound in a 50mile radius- so the waterfront on a hot summer saturday was a poor choice for sound quality. Furthermore, I made promises about deadlines I could not keep, and did not take into consideration the amount of time it might be to receive photos from Magpie for the piece.

In the end, I learned that pre-production is key in creating a quality video.

The next big issue I found myself running into: lack of belief in myself and in my ability. My inner critics were having a field day with my poor ego- kicking it around like tattered soccer ball. Every time I would edit, the voices would criticize every little detail or error I made. I also began to compare myself and my work to that of others, which let's face it, is probably one of the most unproductive and pointless things an artist can do. I put off working on it for a while because I was worried it wouldn't be "good enough" or that I would never finish it (yep- I put off doing it, because I had a fear of not finishing... that old self fulfilling prophecy) I decided to keep working on it, and see where it went.

Last night I found myself focused on plans to create an intro for the video, distracting myself with finding suitable music for the introduction piece. After several hours of searching through creative commons material, I realized that I had wasted all of that time, when I could have been finishing the project at hand. I was procrastinating out of fear that I was almost finished with my first project, and would soon have to share it. This was not productive at all, and my video could stand alone- an intro could come later. I put the finishing touches on the interview, and decided I was done. It was not perfect, but I liked what I had, and I had wasted enough time attempting perfection. I will let it stand alone, and take my lessons with me on the next interview.

This whole process has been an incredible learning experience for me, and it is astonishing to see how far I have come in the last few months. Up until I arrived in Sweden, I was all talk and little to no action. I had great ideas and no motivation behind them. I can thank my dear love, Jens, for teaching me how to be productive. He is such an amazing support in my life, and I am so grateful to have him. Thank you, lovebug. You mean the world to me.

Dream Leaper: Lady Magpie

Dream Leaper: Lady Magpie from Corin Porter on Vimeo.

How does one live creatively? In todays world, it is so easy to get lost in the daily grind of work and responsibility, that we often forget what brings us JOY. In this, the first of a series of interviews, I ask what it means to be creative, and how important it is to take LEAPS OF FAITH for our creative dreams. I myself am taking a leap of faith for my own creative with this project. Each week, I plan to interview a new "Dream Leaper", and find out where they came from, and the struggles they endured to get to where they are today: living their lives creatively.

Throughout this process, I hope to build my own skills, and discover new and amazing paths along the way to supporting myself fully on my creative dreams!
Stay Tuned for more: dreamleapers.blogspot.com

Start Where You Stand!

I have discovered a wonderful new cafe in Winooski, Vermont. I would usually go downtown Burlington to spend the day at one of my normal haunts, but decided I didn't have the energy or desire to walk the 30 minutes into town. I spied this place last night while walking to meet my Aunt Carol for dinner. It is only a 5 minute walk from my current residence! Bonus!

The Block Gallery & Coffee House is just that- an artists gallery with a coffee shop. I walked in and was struck by the hybrid Gallery/Cafe. The space is large and open, not overcrowded with chairs and couches, although it has the space to utilize. I love the openness of it. There are colorful and vibrant paintings on the walls, below them are open glass shelves lined with pottery, portraits, handmade soaps, jewelry, and handprinted cards- all by Vermont artisans. I am shocked, stunned, and in complete awe and inspiration while I sit here.

The owners are friendly- a mother and son crew. From what I have gathered so far, the owner Loraleh is an artist herself. I love this place. There are so many beautiful things to look at and inspire me. So far, I have calculated that I could spend at least several hundred dollars in just earrings and pendents.
I have collected the names and business cards of all of the artists, and hope to interview them as well as Loraleh.

I am getting used to the idea of spending time on my projects everyday. That's not the hard part though. I can show up- on the page, in the editing room, with a camera- but the beginning is difficult. I decided to put together a pre-production package to email to all of the artists and Dream Leapers I have been in contact with recently, but I am having difficulty articulating exactly what I want to do.

I started writing lists, but every time I attempt to type out an explanation or articulate my intentions, my brain goes numb. I think a lot of this has to do with my fear of how I appear to established artists. I want to be professional and show that I have what it takes, which I do, but at the same time, it is really difficult to portray myself as established when I am just beginning. I guess the best thing I can do is speak my truth, and hope that they appreciate my enthusiasm and drive enough to give me a chance to represent them. In the end, I just want to share their stories, and gain experience while doing so. This could be a great networking experience for everyone involved.

It is exciting but scary to begin. You are still wobbly on your feet, but you have drive, determination, and inspiration. I am radically motivated to achieve, and help others to find the drive they need to move forward with their dreams. I have big ideas in the works, but I am happy and excited to start here, now, with smaller steps toward bigger goals. I am trying to be patient with myself, knowing that I am in the beginning, and not allowing myself to bite off more than I can chew.


 All of that said, I do have to remember that I am not completely new to this. I spent one year at a technical school for video and film editing, and the first two years of college in film production. I have plenty of experience to start where I stand. I just have to build the confidence and grounding I need to establish the integrity and eventually mastery that I hope to achieve. We all must start somewhere. Today I start from here. One step. One step at a time. I will make this happen.

Learning Lessons and Making Time

What a fantastic day! I went to bed last night at 2am, and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed at 7am to go to the local Farmers Market to interview artists and introduce myself to new artists for potential future artist interviews. I am becoming aware of one major theme that seems to be across the board for every creative dreamer I have met so far: Make time for your craft. All too often we put aside what we want to do for what we feel we need to do. Our dreams are cast to the wayside, while we work and toil away at jobs we hate so that one day we may be able to afford time off to do what we want to do. I am learning that this is backwards. 

One day, while waitressing at a food chain that I desperately hated- I had a very enlightening conversation with two carnival workers that happened to stop in for a late dinner. They were happy. Truly ecstatic about life. It was infectious. I spent more time at their table than any other during my shift, and while the tips reflected it at the end of the night, I was grateful for my interaction with these two eccentric men. After they had their fill of fried food and bad jokes, one of the men looked at me seriously. “Do you enjoy what you do?” I didn’t have to think about it. “No.” I responded immediately. “But I am saving money to travel. I want to make documentaries, and see the world.” He smiled at me, I saw for the first time a wisdom etched in the lines of his face- and his eyes. “Tell me Corin- do work to live? Or do you live to work?” 

Not everyone enjoys their “day job”, so why then allow it to take over and exhaust you? Sure- life can be difficult, and we all have obligations, but there is ALWAYS time for what you love to do. Making time to paint early mornings before your kids awake, or at night after they have gone to bed. Drawing concepts and ideas in a notebook you bring everywhere with you- storing ideas and inspiration that you can refer back to later. Busting out a hoola hoop or work on a dance routine while you wait for the bus. Yeah- sometimes you might feel a little weird about doing this in public, but you are utilizing spare time to do the things you love- WHO CARES what people think about you- if they think negatively, that is their own insecurities at play, not yours; and if they think positively, you have inadvertently inspired another person. 

Making time is, for me, the hardest part about living my dream- but in order to live it, I absolutely MUST make time. 

Next to making time, I have learned that we each have to allow ourselves to create without personal judgement. In the first Dream Leaper Interview (which I have yet to post) I have been judging myself way too harshly. I must remember: I am new to this. I do not have to be perfect. I do not have to produce high quality videos right now. All I have to do is move. Movement creates experience, experience creates learning, learning expands growth, and eventually, I will be able to produce the quality films that I aspire to. I can apply this to my writing as well. The more I write, the better I will get. One step at a time in the same direction, no matter how small, I will make it to my goal. This excites me. I am on my way :-D

 Last weekend I went to the Farmers Market with no plan, and a hope to get some interviews. Several unexpected things happened when I arrived: I got shy and insecure, and it was way busier than I expected. I was uncomfortable about approaching new people (even though this is what I normally do best) and I was embarrassed about sharing my ideas with them about my film project and blog. I mean, who was I to call myself an artist among such amazing and established people- “TRUE ARTISTS”! (I am learning to embrace my artist-self. It is at times uncomfortable, but it is also a learning process.)  


I spoke with a few acquaintances and set up some loose interviews for the following Saturday. I had all week to plan and prepare, and I didn’t put any time into it. In the end, I made it to the market late, and missed the prime interview time while they were setting up and before the customers arrived. 
BUT I learned a very valuable lesson: allow time for preparation and pre-production. Have my questions planned and ready (and written down, in case I forget them) Be on time. Be EARLY, in fact. Know my interviewee, as well as my audience. Conduct research about them and their products before I arrive. Be sure to state clearly what I need- loud and clear voice, complete sentences (starting the answer with the question, etc). Having a clear vision on what I am looking for will help the interviewee to feel more comfortable, and will allow me to cut together a more cohesive video in the end. 

With all of that said- I ended up having some REALLY amazing interviews, with some insanely talented and wonderful artists. I also networked and plan to spend the week organizing my interviews and project so that I can begin interviewing these artists and posting videos each week. I walked around to each booth, introducing myself to people, asking questions, collecting business cards, and gaining inspiration and motivation from each interaction. It was deeply affirming to me to be able to state clearly my intentions with with this film project. The interactions enabled me to articulate my personal goals and desires for my vision and my art. I am beyond inspired and looking forward to sharing the results with all of you wonderful people! 

John Butler Trio - Ocean - Live at Paleo Festival 2010

WAKING UP!

Tonight has brought me the soul stretching, love inducing, eye opening, faith leaping, PUSH over the edge that I have needed (and craved) for a very long time. It was one of those moments when you suddenly feel as if you have awoken from a scary dream- one where everything is out of control, and can feel as fate drags and pushes you around like a rag doll. I awoke.  I was surprised that I did not feel low, disheartened, or emotionally exhausted from the last few years of allowing myself to focus on the negative things in my life, and allowing others to have control over me, and over my emotions. I awoke shocked- I couldn't believe I had slept so long! And to think I had   continued for so long to give away my energy, attention and emotions to people and  activities that weren't even worth the bother- I awoke to the realization that I am in charge and that I have control over what and who deserves my energy and attention. No MORE will I continue to focus on the bad in my life. NO MORE will I allow myself to care what others think of me (I have spent so much time and energy on this. NO MORE. I am DONE.)

Leading up to this moment:

My dear friend Rick sent me a text message last week to inform me he had purchased tickets to see John Butler Trio, and asked me to join him. I enthusiastically excepted. I immediately called my sister Amber to tell her to get tickets, as we had both come to love him and his music equally. She had to be there with me. I didn't want to experience it without her. Later I hounded my friend Rob to join us. Rob, I knew, was also a huge JBT fan. We all met Rick at the front of Higher Ground, with mutual friends Nate and Shayna.

Once in, we hung out in the back for a while, and decided to make our way toward the front of the stage for a better view. We didn't get right up front, but we got close, and as soon as John Butler and his band made there way out onto the stage- I just knew it was going to be a great show.

The moving moment:

They played many songs, all of which I am in love with, and sang every word. About half way through the show, his drummer and bassist both left the stage, leaving John on his own to work his insane guitar magic (seriously, the BEST guitarist I have ever seen!) He dedicated the song "Ocean" to every person who fights for a cause. For every person "on the front lines" of the movement- the revolution. I am sure he was talking about a specific revolution- of corporate take over, taking care of the Earth, and  indigenous rights (all VERY important revolutions and purposes)- but I like to think that he meant EVERYONE who was on the front lines of ANY revolution: people out there, changing the world in a positive way, in whatever way they feel moved to do so. I felt my own path- my own revolution- of encouragement and inspiration, helping people to find their way to doing what they love, instead of being stuck behind and miserable at what they hate. A revolution of PLAYFULNESS, and LOVE.

As he played, I felt my body began to vibrate. My cells began to awaken and shake and shimmy like they had all been blasted with love and engulfed in bursts of energy. They danced and swam and swayed- I felt light on my feet. I closed my eyes, and felt as if the music washed right through my chest- through my heart, filling me up with love, encouragement, motivation, inspiration, self control and self affection.

I felt a sense of grounding that I have been missing for several years, and yet, I felt as if I could, as if I was flying. As he fingered and plucked away at the strings, I could see my story from the beginning. I could see where I have come from, where I have been,  and all of the magic in where I am heading. I felt firm in my position and my place in this world, and in my ability and desire to create amazing art in a world that desperately needs more love- more art- more fun and play- more revolutions.

At one super intense crescendo, one word popped into my head: Purpose. A series of images played through my head- a preview of what I believe is to come: Me, traveling  the world, and interviewing truly amazing people (John Butler included) about their purpose in life, and what it means to have a purpose. I was interviewing all kinds of people from all cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, all of whom felt incredibly strong about something, and moved forward, despite what others thought, and what their perceived limitations were. I was traveling. I was interviewing. I was making a difference, and living my own dream at the same time. I was creating something that was going to inspire others to do the same. I had become the person I had always dreamed.

During the rest of the show, I pondered how far John must have come to be there, on his stool, playing such moving and incredible music for such an appreciative audience. Surely he had overcome many obstacles, trials, and tribulations to get to where he was tonight. He did not back down, he did not give up- or at least he made the difficult choice to get back up and brush himself off when he did. He put many hours into his craft- as EVERY successful artist does. Most importantly- he didn't care what others thought- he did this for himself. He gave himself purpose, he found his cause, and he fights for it still today.

Today I awake anew. I am ready to allow myself to move forward with my own dreams, despite my perceived shortcomings and limitations. Today I ditch the inner critics that have left me wondering what others think (I sent them all to protect The Kimberly in north western Australia, where Woodside Petroleum is threatening to build a LNG refinery on one of the most beautiful natural pieces of earth- look it up, it's horrible!) I have banished all negative thoughts and critics from my mind, and have made the decision to MAKE THE TIME in my life for my purpose. Today I take the first steps toward shaking the sleep out of my rigid and chilled body, and waking it to full warmth and movement. I awash myself with self love, self respect, and self care. I dedicate myself to my purpose and the love of my art. It is time to move forward. I start here and now.

(SEE A VIDEO OF JOHN BUTLERS "OCEAN" IN POST ABOVE)