I've Moved Again!

I have upgraded! You can now follow me at WordPress
Also be sure to check me out on Twitter and Facebook

There will soon be many new updates and some exciting news. :-D I hope you will follow me along my journey!

Joy, Not Perfection.

Perfection. We do not use the word in a productive manner. I would prefer it be eradicated from the language completely. While it might work for the occasional piece of cheesecake, or a sunny autumn morning, we all use it and expect it of ourselves and others FAR too frequently. It is detrimental to ourselves, and to our perception of others. It hurts our soul, makes us think we are not capable, or worthy of magical things, and makes us idolize other people or situations.  It keeps us from pushing forward for our own goals and dreams, out of fear of never reaching perfection, which is in fact an impossible task. It keeps us discouraged, and keeps those we place on pedestals feeling like they could never live up to the expectations of those around them- stunting their own growth.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the matter of perspective, and our tendencies to idolize and assign perfection to those who hold qualities we wish we had ourselves. We are all the idolizers and the idolized. We want what others have, and they want what we have (or what they think we have). People go on attempting to attain something with the hope it will make them happier, because from their perspective, it has made the lives of others easier and happier. In the end, I think it is terribly important to focus on what brings us each joy, and how to stay focused on appreciating what we have ourselves, rather than separating people into groups of have and have-nots. We all hold the potential to achieve our dreams and goals- unless that dream or goal is to be someone else.

A co-worker noted recently he had just become aware that his "parents are humans too." I think many of us can relate to the notion that those we look up to are God-like creatures, all-knowing and unable to do wrong. When we idolize people, we give them superhuman qualities. We assume they do not deal with the everyday issues and big losses as we non-perfect people have to. We also assume that even when they do deal with loss, hurt or surprise, they are able to do so more gracefully because they are "perfect", and their perfect lives allow it to hurt less. I am sure not many people have thought this directly, but I see it often.  We expect those we idolize do not feel pain as we feel pain, because they are either beautiful, rich, talented, or any other "perfect" quality, and so it must soften the blow for them.

This past winter, I was going through some of my own issues just after I moved to Honolulu. I often heard: "Well, what have got to worry about? You're living in Hawaii!" This was obviously unfair, as pain and fear does not numb in tropical climates. We have to remember that the grass is only greener from where we stand. Once we put ourselves in the exact position of others, we can see it is really only a matter of perspective. What this experience has taught me is that we all have issues. They might affect us all differently, but in the end, it is all relative.
"The size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider's measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it. The king's lost crown is a vast matter to the king but of no consequence to the child. The lost toy is a great matter to the child but in the king's eyes it is not a thing to break the heart about." ~Mark Twain

Photo Credit: Stevemease.com

This idea of relative pain can also apply to happiness. I know many beautiful, rich or talented people who are not happy with what they have, and desire to lose more weight, gain more money, or be better at their talent. It is important to focus on what we each have to share, and not be quick to judge it, because we are each so different from each other, and we each have many wonderful qualities that we can share with the world to make it a more beautiful place. Just do what brings you joy, and your joy will spread like the zombie apocalypse ;-D

 I will assign you an activity! For the first time in my blogging history, I will give you homework. Don't worry, you do not have to share it. It is just for you. Grab a fancy journal, a napkin, a piece of scrap paper, whatever you have near. NOW, take a few minutes to breathe. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, just for now, let go of your worries. You can go back to them after, should you feel the need, for now let them rest. Write a list of things you are grateful for, stating "I am grateful for..." at the beginning of each. Try to write at least 10, more if you are on a roll!

Example of what I would write: I am grateful to be ALIVE! I am grateful to be writing. I am grateful for my beautiful sister. I am grateful to have a job. I am grateful to have a day off. I am grateful to be me. I am grateful...  Do this for this every morning for a week. If after a week, you have no desire to continue, or it does not seem to work for you, then discontinue the practice. BUT- if after a week, you start to notice that you are more focused on yourself, and what brings you gratitude and joy- then PLEASE continue. I have found that it keeps me more focused on the vibrant colors of my own grass, rather than that of my neighbors. 

www.stevemease.com

Mission Accomplished!

Well, sort of! Let's just say that I have accomplished "starting." That is always the hardest thing for me to do- to begin a project. I am sure many people can relate: You have an idea, something that really gets your creative juices flowing- you might write it down, or save it for "later", but that "later" never actually arrives. Speaking as a perfectionist, it is always incredibly difficult to begin because I know whatever I do, my first attempts will not be up to my personal standard of quality. Therefore, if I cannot do it right the first time, I don't usually do it at all.

As I get older, however, I realize this is not a productive outlook, and I will live an awfully boring and disappointing life if I do not at least start somewhere. I have decided to look at my situation logically: there are very few prodigies in this world, and I am certainly not one of them. Like every other artist, musician, or entrepreneur before me, I will have to work hard and practice at what I do. I will have to put many hours into my craft, and learn many lessons before I can obtain the confidence and grounding I need to establish integrity in my work. While I honestly feel a bit intimated by this, I also feel elated- I am doing it! I am already accomplishing something, and while my first attempt might not be everything I hoped, it is a beginning, and it is a wonderful beginning.

I have been all over the board for the last few weeks. I was excited in the beginning, and I felt as if nothing would stop me. I had this sense that the excitement and momentum I felt would propel me straight through to stardom, with little to no effort. Reality began to sink in after when I began to cut my first Dream Leaper interview- an off the cuff, impromptu interview with my friend Magpie. I realized that I had not done the kind of preparation I should have going into the interview. I did not consider the questions I would ask her- and found that the piece was not as cohesive as I would have liked. I also did not consider a venue for the interview, and was unaware of my microphones ability to pick up every little sound in a 50mile radius- so the waterfront on a hot summer saturday was a poor choice for sound quality. Furthermore, I made promises about deadlines I could not keep, and did not take into consideration the amount of time it might be to receive photos from Magpie for the piece.

In the end, I learned that pre-production is key in creating a quality video.

The next big issue I found myself running into: lack of belief in myself and in my ability. My inner critics were having a field day with my poor ego- kicking it around like tattered soccer ball. Every time I would edit, the voices would criticize every little detail or error I made. I also began to compare myself and my work to that of others, which let's face it, is probably one of the most unproductive and pointless things an artist can do. I put off working on it for a while because I was worried it wouldn't be "good enough" or that I would never finish it (yep- I put off doing it, because I had a fear of not finishing... that old self fulfilling prophecy) I decided to keep working on it, and see where it went.

Last night I found myself focused on plans to create an intro for the video, distracting myself with finding suitable music for the introduction piece. After several hours of searching through creative commons material, I realized that I had wasted all of that time, when I could have been finishing the project at hand. I was procrastinating out of fear that I was almost finished with my first project, and would soon have to share it. This was not productive at all, and my video could stand alone- an intro could come later. I put the finishing touches on the interview, and decided I was done. It was not perfect, but I liked what I had, and I had wasted enough time attempting perfection. I will let it stand alone, and take my lessons with me on the next interview.

This whole process has been an incredible learning experience for me, and it is astonishing to see how far I have come in the last few months. Up until I arrived in Sweden, I was all talk and little to no action. I had great ideas and no motivation behind them. I can thank my dear love, Jens, for teaching me how to be productive. He is such an amazing support in my life, and I am so grateful to have him. Thank you, lovebug. You mean the world to me.

Dream Leaper: Lady Magpie

Dream Leaper: Lady Magpie from Corin Porter on Vimeo.

How does one live creatively? In todays world, it is so easy to get lost in the daily grind of work and responsibility, that we often forget what brings us JOY. In this, the first of a series of interviews, I ask what it means to be creative, and how important it is to take LEAPS OF FAITH for our creative dreams. I myself am taking a leap of faith for my own creative with this project. Each week, I plan to interview a new "Dream Leaper", and find out where they came from, and the struggles they endured to get to where they are today: living their lives creatively.

Throughout this process, I hope to build my own skills, and discover new and amazing paths along the way to supporting myself fully on my creative dreams!
Stay Tuned for more: dreamleapers.blogspot.com

Start Where You Stand!

I have discovered a wonderful new cafe in Winooski, Vermont. I would usually go downtown Burlington to spend the day at one of my normal haunts, but decided I didn't have the energy or desire to walk the 30 minutes into town. I spied this place last night while walking to meet my Aunt Carol for dinner. It is only a 5 minute walk from my current residence! Bonus!

The Block Gallery & Coffee House is just that- an artists gallery with a coffee shop. I walked in and was struck by the hybrid Gallery/Cafe. The space is large and open, not overcrowded with chairs and couches, although it has the space to utilize. I love the openness of it. There are colorful and vibrant paintings on the walls, below them are open glass shelves lined with pottery, portraits, handmade soaps, jewelry, and handprinted cards- all by Vermont artisans. I am shocked, stunned, and in complete awe and inspiration while I sit here.

The owners are friendly- a mother and son crew. From what I have gathered so far, the owner Loraleh is an artist herself. I love this place. There are so many beautiful things to look at and inspire me. So far, I have calculated that I could spend at least several hundred dollars in just earrings and pendents.
I have collected the names and business cards of all of the artists, and hope to interview them as well as Loraleh.

I am getting used to the idea of spending time on my projects everyday. That's not the hard part though. I can show up- on the page, in the editing room, with a camera- but the beginning is difficult. I decided to put together a pre-production package to email to all of the artists and Dream Leapers I have been in contact with recently, but I am having difficulty articulating exactly what I want to do.

I started writing lists, but every time I attempt to type out an explanation or articulate my intentions, my brain goes numb. I think a lot of this has to do with my fear of how I appear to established artists. I want to be professional and show that I have what it takes, which I do, but at the same time, it is really difficult to portray myself as established when I am just beginning. I guess the best thing I can do is speak my truth, and hope that they appreciate my enthusiasm and drive enough to give me a chance to represent them. In the end, I just want to share their stories, and gain experience while doing so. This could be a great networking experience for everyone involved.

It is exciting but scary to begin. You are still wobbly on your feet, but you have drive, determination, and inspiration. I am radically motivated to achieve, and help others to find the drive they need to move forward with their dreams. I have big ideas in the works, but I am happy and excited to start here, now, with smaller steps toward bigger goals. I am trying to be patient with myself, knowing that I am in the beginning, and not allowing myself to bite off more than I can chew.


 All of that said, I do have to remember that I am not completely new to this. I spent one year at a technical school for video and film editing, and the first two years of college in film production. I have plenty of experience to start where I stand. I just have to build the confidence and grounding I need to establish the integrity and eventually mastery that I hope to achieve. We all must start somewhere. Today I start from here. One step. One step at a time. I will make this happen.

Learning Lessons and Making Time

What a fantastic day! I went to bed last night at 2am, and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed at 7am to go to the local Farmers Market to interview artists and introduce myself to new artists for potential future artist interviews. I am becoming aware of one major theme that seems to be across the board for every creative dreamer I have met so far: Make time for your craft. All too often we put aside what we want to do for what we feel we need to do. Our dreams are cast to the wayside, while we work and toil away at jobs we hate so that one day we may be able to afford time off to do what we want to do. I am learning that this is backwards. 

One day, while waitressing at a food chain that I desperately hated- I had a very enlightening conversation with two carnival workers that happened to stop in for a late dinner. They were happy. Truly ecstatic about life. It was infectious. I spent more time at their table than any other during my shift, and while the tips reflected it at the end of the night, I was grateful for my interaction with these two eccentric men. After they had their fill of fried food and bad jokes, one of the men looked at me seriously. “Do you enjoy what you do?” I didn’t have to think about it. “No.” I responded immediately. “But I am saving money to travel. I want to make documentaries, and see the world.” He smiled at me, I saw for the first time a wisdom etched in the lines of his face- and his eyes. “Tell me Corin- do work to live? Or do you live to work?” 

Not everyone enjoys their “day job”, so why then allow it to take over and exhaust you? Sure- life can be difficult, and we all have obligations, but there is ALWAYS time for what you love to do. Making time to paint early mornings before your kids awake, or at night after they have gone to bed. Drawing concepts and ideas in a notebook you bring everywhere with you- storing ideas and inspiration that you can refer back to later. Busting out a hoola hoop or work on a dance routine while you wait for the bus. Yeah- sometimes you might feel a little weird about doing this in public, but you are utilizing spare time to do the things you love- WHO CARES what people think about you- if they think negatively, that is their own insecurities at play, not yours; and if they think positively, you have inadvertently inspired another person. 

Making time is, for me, the hardest part about living my dream- but in order to live it, I absolutely MUST make time. 

Next to making time, I have learned that we each have to allow ourselves to create without personal judgement. In the first Dream Leaper Interview (which I have yet to post) I have been judging myself way too harshly. I must remember: I am new to this. I do not have to be perfect. I do not have to produce high quality videos right now. All I have to do is move. Movement creates experience, experience creates learning, learning expands growth, and eventually, I will be able to produce the quality films that I aspire to. I can apply this to my writing as well. The more I write, the better I will get. One step at a time in the same direction, no matter how small, I will make it to my goal. This excites me. I am on my way :-D

 Last weekend I went to the Farmers Market with no plan, and a hope to get some interviews. Several unexpected things happened when I arrived: I got shy and insecure, and it was way busier than I expected. I was uncomfortable about approaching new people (even though this is what I normally do best) and I was embarrassed about sharing my ideas with them about my film project and blog. I mean, who was I to call myself an artist among such amazing and established people- “TRUE ARTISTS”! (I am learning to embrace my artist-self. It is at times uncomfortable, but it is also a learning process.)  


I spoke with a few acquaintances and set up some loose interviews for the following Saturday. I had all week to plan and prepare, and I didn’t put any time into it. In the end, I made it to the market late, and missed the prime interview time while they were setting up and before the customers arrived. 
BUT I learned a very valuable lesson: allow time for preparation and pre-production. Have my questions planned and ready (and written down, in case I forget them) Be on time. Be EARLY, in fact. Know my interviewee, as well as my audience. Conduct research about them and their products before I arrive. Be sure to state clearly what I need- loud and clear voice, complete sentences (starting the answer with the question, etc). Having a clear vision on what I am looking for will help the interviewee to feel more comfortable, and will allow me to cut together a more cohesive video in the end. 

With all of that said- I ended up having some REALLY amazing interviews, with some insanely talented and wonderful artists. I also networked and plan to spend the week organizing my interviews and project so that I can begin interviewing these artists and posting videos each week. I walked around to each booth, introducing myself to people, asking questions, collecting business cards, and gaining inspiration and motivation from each interaction. It was deeply affirming to me to be able to state clearly my intentions with with this film project. The interactions enabled me to articulate my personal goals and desires for my vision and my art. I am beyond inspired and looking forward to sharing the results with all of you wonderful people! 

John Butler Trio - Ocean - Live at Paleo Festival 2010