WAKING UP!

Tonight has brought me the soul stretching, love inducing, eye opening, faith leaping, PUSH over the edge that I have needed (and craved) for a very long time. It was one of those moments when you suddenly feel as if you have awoken from a scary dream- one where everything is out of control, and can feel as fate drags and pushes you around like a rag doll. I awoke.  I was surprised that I did not feel low, disheartened, or emotionally exhausted from the last few years of allowing myself to focus on the negative things in my life, and allowing others to have control over me, and over my emotions. I awoke shocked- I couldn't believe I had slept so long! And to think I had   continued for so long to give away my energy, attention and emotions to people and  activities that weren't even worth the bother- I awoke to the realization that I am in charge and that I have control over what and who deserves my energy and attention. No MORE will I continue to focus on the bad in my life. NO MORE will I allow myself to care what others think of me (I have spent so much time and energy on this. NO MORE. I am DONE.)

Leading up to this moment:

My dear friend Rick sent me a text message last week to inform me he had purchased tickets to see John Butler Trio, and asked me to join him. I enthusiastically excepted. I immediately called my sister Amber to tell her to get tickets, as we had both come to love him and his music equally. She had to be there with me. I didn't want to experience it without her. Later I hounded my friend Rob to join us. Rob, I knew, was also a huge JBT fan. We all met Rick at the front of Higher Ground, with mutual friends Nate and Shayna.

Once in, we hung out in the back for a while, and decided to make our way toward the front of the stage for a better view. We didn't get right up front, but we got close, and as soon as John Butler and his band made there way out onto the stage- I just knew it was going to be a great show.

The moving moment:

They played many songs, all of which I am in love with, and sang every word. About half way through the show, his drummer and bassist both left the stage, leaving John on his own to work his insane guitar magic (seriously, the BEST guitarist I have ever seen!) He dedicated the song "Ocean" to every person who fights for a cause. For every person "on the front lines" of the movement- the revolution. I am sure he was talking about a specific revolution- of corporate take over, taking care of the Earth, and  indigenous rights (all VERY important revolutions and purposes)- but I like to think that he meant EVERYONE who was on the front lines of ANY revolution: people out there, changing the world in a positive way, in whatever way they feel moved to do so. I felt my own path- my own revolution- of encouragement and inspiration, helping people to find their way to doing what they love, instead of being stuck behind and miserable at what they hate. A revolution of PLAYFULNESS, and LOVE.

As he played, I felt my body began to vibrate. My cells began to awaken and shake and shimmy like they had all been blasted with love and engulfed in bursts of energy. They danced and swam and swayed- I felt light on my feet. I closed my eyes, and felt as if the music washed right through my chest- through my heart, filling me up with love, encouragement, motivation, inspiration, self control and self affection.

I felt a sense of grounding that I have been missing for several years, and yet, I felt as if I could, as if I was flying. As he fingered and plucked away at the strings, I could see my story from the beginning. I could see where I have come from, where I have been,  and all of the magic in where I am heading. I felt firm in my position and my place in this world, and in my ability and desire to create amazing art in a world that desperately needs more love- more art- more fun and play- more revolutions.

At one super intense crescendo, one word popped into my head: Purpose. A series of images played through my head- a preview of what I believe is to come: Me, traveling  the world, and interviewing truly amazing people (John Butler included) about their purpose in life, and what it means to have a purpose. I was interviewing all kinds of people from all cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, all of whom felt incredibly strong about something, and moved forward, despite what others thought, and what their perceived limitations were. I was traveling. I was interviewing. I was making a difference, and living my own dream at the same time. I was creating something that was going to inspire others to do the same. I had become the person I had always dreamed.

During the rest of the show, I pondered how far John must have come to be there, on his stool, playing such moving and incredible music for such an appreciative audience. Surely he had overcome many obstacles, trials, and tribulations to get to where he was tonight. He did not back down, he did not give up- or at least he made the difficult choice to get back up and brush himself off when he did. He put many hours into his craft- as EVERY successful artist does. Most importantly- he didn't care what others thought- he did this for himself. He gave himself purpose, he found his cause, and he fights for it still today.

Today I awake anew. I am ready to allow myself to move forward with my own dreams, despite my perceived shortcomings and limitations. Today I ditch the inner critics that have left me wondering what others think (I sent them all to protect The Kimberly in north western Australia, where Woodside Petroleum is threatening to build a LNG refinery on one of the most beautiful natural pieces of earth- look it up, it's horrible!) I have banished all negative thoughts and critics from my mind, and have made the decision to MAKE THE TIME in my life for my purpose. Today I take the first steps toward shaking the sleep out of my rigid and chilled body, and waking it to full warmth and movement. I awash myself with self love, self respect, and self care. I dedicate myself to my purpose and the love of my art. It is time to move forward. I start here and now.

(SEE A VIDEO OF JOHN BUTLERS "OCEAN" IN POST ABOVE)